True Love- The end

Time moves faster then Mr Bolt, the record holder at Olympics. My life had taken a long leap. From nowhere to a highly regarded firm and honorable designation, I had everything anyone would feel resentful of. This was the time when 70% of my classmates were either engaged or married. This was the time when my facebook wall was full engagement/marriage/honeymoon/baby pics. This was the time I felt solitude. “I need someone, its not really as good as I thought to be single”. I did have flings and several one night stands but i was still in search of my true love.

The third and the fourth-

My mom called me that day, at an unusual time.

Mom- Hello beta, How r u,come home,I am missing you a lot.

Me- (I know there is something fishy) yes definitely, will be there around Diwali. Is everything alright?

Mom- What do you mean, can I not miss you or call you. Actually you remember that commissioner’s daughter. I heard she also works in the same city. Why don’t you go n meet her.

Me- (Here comes the real reason for her to call me ) For what?

Mom- I have grown old. I am tired of being alone. I wish I can see my daughter-in-law’s face soon. In short,I like that girl and if you like her, go and check. We have already fixed a date of your engagement too. We know you will like her.

And she ends the call, without even getting my rejoinder. Nishi her name was. I had seen her quite a few times, but I did not really find her alluring. There was nothing special in her apart from the fact that she was commissioner’s daughter. I started dreaming of the dowry I can claim to marry her,….uh, I am kidding folks.

I took out sometime and went to convene with her. I could see her in white attire, dazzling. I love girls in white. Though she wasn’t out of ordinary, but she seemed Natasha’s lost cousin at first look and so all my guilt from past invaded my eyes. We spoke for few hours and yes I liked her.

It became a mundane activity to talk with her. My evenings were no emptier. I loved her company for she spoke exactly the way Natasha did. I started liking her, may be because I already loved Natasha and I called my mom to give the good news.

Me- Mom I like her, she is good.

Mom- What, how can you come to such a conclusion so soon. However I got to know about her from her neighbors and the feedback is not that good. There is another girl ….

I interrupted my mom

Me- Mom is it some game, first I am forced to like someone and when I like her, you tell me she isn’t good and I am supposed to check someone else.

Mom- this is the way arrange marriages happen.

And she banged the phone.

While I was wondering what to do with Nishi, a mail popped up on my celphone with subject “Bio-data”. It was that other girl’s bio-data. I checked the document and her pictures. She looked beautiful. For I had already started liking Nishi, I did not show much interest in her until she called me up and said, “Hi, I am Bharti, and it’s a yes from my side, we can go ahead,if its ayes from your side too.” I was perplexed. How can she like me without even knowing me. Soon I also started chatting with her and I found her to be an amazing person. Nishi was Natasha’s replica but Bharti was a kind of girl I had never met. She was sober and matured female ,I can imagine my family ,specially my mom with. My days started getting packed between these two beauties. Until one day, when Bharti called me up and said, “ I have started liking you. You are one of the most amazing man I have ever met. I had a 3 year old relationship , out of which I was not able to move on, but with you it clicked.”

These words haunted me for days. I was playing ping-pong game between Nishi and Bharti. “There is a girl whom I like, though not too much, but yes I like Nishi. There’s another girl who likes me, but I don’t like her much, Bharti.” After a month long dilemma I had my answer.

Me- Hi

Girl- So are you joining me for dinner today, I have cooked something special or you.

Me- I want to tell you something

Girl- I know, you wish to propose me for marriage,but it has to be out of this world.

Me- I think its not workin anymore. While I was talking to you, my mom dad were looking at other prospects and they think they have found someone apt for me

Girl- what do you think of yourself, after being with you from a last month, after spending nights together, you are saying you are going to marry some one else. You scoundrel, get lost from my life. You are a loser.

Yes, I chose Bharti over Nishi. I know I was not doing right, but I remember , Natasha used to tell me one thing, “Be with the one who loves you and not with the one you love and your life will be wonderful”. So it was Bharti, my engagement got fixed with.

I had many girls in my life. I broke many hearts, intentionally and unintentionally, but I could not break Bharti’s heart. Reason, I don’t know.

For obvious reasons, Nishi blocked me from every possible way of communication, neither did I try connecting to her. Bharti was not the best from lot, but she loved me and each and every action of her showed that. Shilpa got married an year back and she’s expecting. We are very much on talking terms. Natasha, I am still searching for her. I still crave for her. I still wish to see her. I still yearn for her. I still love her, for she being the true love of my life.

True Love- Part 3

I belled the CAT, I mean I cracked it, though with low marks, I managed to get admission in a respectable MBA college. After my break up, I got what all I needed to move on. A new place, a good bunch of friends, and yes, I enjoyed the daily MBA presentations.

Life gained its track all over again. I scored well, like I told you I was never a dumbfuck, I scored bad because I never studied, but now, since there was no chance for me to play cricket, I put all my energy into studies. 1st year of MBA went smooth, flirting with girls, going industrial visits and studying 10 subjects every semester on an average. I loved all this new life of mine. But like God’s plans are always different then ours, I met her.

After our summer internships, we were back in the college, all energized. Excitement was to see juniors, since we did not like the kind of girls we had in our class. Excitement was to rag juniors. Excitement was to win bets which we have been thinking of since days. “Who dares propose and date the most beautiful junior”. I knew I had to win this. We started checking each and every junior to select the best of all. It was not a herculean task since customary to college beliefs a fresher night was to be arranged, crowning the best. Hence we got our Miss Fresher. Natasha her name was.

Freshest of face ive ever seen. She looked so pure and innocent that we worried even looking at her might have caused harm to her. We all started checking her in the canteen. “ Who can dare to propose her and make her sleep, anyone anyone” said one of my friends. “Sid, you need to do this, you know you are the best” I said to myself. I know the easiest of ways to impress a girl is to show you are not impressed and she will be attracted to you. It worked in my case. She felt I was different, unlike other guys who spent their days checking her and she came to me, upfront.

Natasha- Hi, I need few notes of accounts, I am an engineer and some one told me you have the best of notes.

I knew she was lying. But, this was the chance I was waiting for, I need to win the bet with my friends showing them I am the best. I said if she has any problem, she can anytime approach me and I would be there for her help.

We started chatting over facebook for hours. My wit helped me attract her more towards me, and yes the day came when she proposed to me. We were talking over the phone.

Natasha- So, what gift am I getting on my birthday from my new friend.

Me- Anything, but in limits, would be granted ( I was just acting pricey, all I had in my mind, was to win the bet)

Natasha- I want you

Me- Granted

It was so easy. Yes, we were going around. I loved the feeling, to have most beautiful girl by my side, to see other people getting green-eyed with envy. No, so far I was not in love with her. For, I still loved Shilpa. Natasha wasn’t a bit of Shilpa. SHilpa was dominating, commanding, a typical girl friend I loved to be with. Natasha was no doubt prettiest, but very cute to fight and dominate.

It just took few movies and gifts for me to win Natasha’s trust and then she was on bed with me, Don’t wish to detail it, but yes, I won the bet. All of my friends celebrated. Rivers of alcohol were made to flow. Without realizing what I had done, I felt like a hero. I did not break up with her, as I thought it to be too rude. Moreover, I thought It would be a matter of an year, after which I would be out of the college and work somewhere else. Out of sight, out of mind was i thought ,should work and then I would never really have to break up, hurting her.

I had best of my time with Natasha, and it took me long to realize that I started loving her. She was the best of girlfriend and wife, one could ever have. She never made me feel sad, be it my inability to get placed through college in the beginning or some family issues, she was always there to support me and make me feel better. Time was flying and all seemed well, until one day.

Natasha- My parents have started looking for a guy, for me to get married. When do you think , would you be ready to talk with them.

A hell broke over me again. “What?Marriage? are you crazy, I cannot marry you” I don’t know why did I say that. May be I was not prepared, or may b I was scared of commitment or I felt my family would never accept her or may be I was expecting someone better, extraordinary to be my wife, but not Natasha. She is good but I could never imagine her as my wife.

Me- I cannot marry you. I was there with you just for your happiness. I guess its time for you to move on. I have better things to concentrate on, like my career. And moreover I want my parents to choose a girl for me. Its their right, I wish not to take from them.

Natasha- But wasn’t it love, will we not be together forever. What about the love making part?

Me- oh please, lets not get emotional and ruin our lives. And I want you to be a bit practical. You are not the first girl facing all this. Time heels all. So move on.

That was the last time I spoke with Natasha. She did try calling me hundred times until I blocked her number, but only after that I realized I loved her. I started missing her crazily. Few month after were like the worst months of my life. I guess,she would have cursed me. Or she cannot curse me, for she was a beautiful person at heart. I knew it was my mistake that I lost her and I decided to never ever fall in love and get married to my parent’s choice, but with a girl like Natasha.

True Love- Part 2

My second true you-

Life moves on. After dad broke my bat, I took a week, to come out of the entire tragedy, and so I was late by a week to grace my college with my presence. The course I opted for, bachelors of commerce, wasn’t hard though, but for me every word seemed alien. Time flies and so did the first 1 month.

It was the day I discovered, surprises are not always good. We had our first surprise test and honestly I did not have a single idea, what is it going to be all about. I could see everyone around me, busy writing. “What do they write so much?” I was about to submit my answer sheet (pure blank) and depart, but some one pulled my hand and made me sit.

She: Take this (giving me her answer sheet), and copy as soon as you can. I hope you are smart enough to save yourself from being caught.

I did not really see her face, at that moment, but was thankful to God, for saving me to score a big zero, like primary teachers say. I gave my paper and went back, to thank her. Before I could reach her, she had already left the class. “I don’t know how would I thank her, I did not even see her face clearly”, I wondered and left towards the cricket field.

I couldn’t play it, but I never pledged to stop watching it.

I parked myself, all alone, watching guys playing cricket in the ground and heard a female voice. “Why don’t you go and play, I have seen you playing. You play awesome.” Voice seemed familiar. I looked at her and was awed for a moment. She was the same girl who helped me through that so called surprise test. She was not any out of ordinary female but at that point, her smile fascinated me then anything else in this world. Believe you me; her smile resembled that of Madhuri Dixit. While I was awestruck, she asked me again, “Hello, I am talking to you, why you aren’t playing. I have seen you playing at school, you play awesome.” I loved to hear these words and thought what should I reply, I still wonder why couldn’t I lie and told her, “My dad doesn’t want me to play”. She guffawed, ‘How would he know you are playing. Play when you are in college”. Oh, she is intelligent, how could I not think of this. I asked her, “I am sure you know my name, I am Siddharth, what’s your name?” “I was sure you did not know mine. I was waiting for you to shoot that, I am Shilpa”. She smiled and we shook our hands. Oh, her hands were too soft, or may be I was touching a female’s hand for the first time.

Soon I started playing again, without knowledge of any of my family members and this new friend of mine helped me with studies too. We became good friends and she became the most influencing female ever. How did my love story begin, that’s another victorious story of mine.

I was on fields, waiting for my turn to bat and suddenly some guy came and blasted, “Bastard, how can you get close to Shilpa, she is my girl friend. You dare not be around her.” I have always been a peace lover so replied calmly. “Of course, she must be your girl friend, but what makes you worry”. He replied in an agitating manner, “Your, closeness.” I said, “I guess, we should let her decide, with whom she finds comfort.” Shilpa was called and by then whole lot of people gathered. I don’t understand why they were engrossed in the whole commotion. Shilpa announced bravely, “I like being with Siddharth and I wish to be with him, I guess, forever”. Oh oh oh, this girl was crazy. “Did she propose me?”. I just knew one thing with a girlfriend, I got enemies free free free.

This is how we started. I did not know what a relationship is, what a girl is, what love is, she taught me all. I discovered that she was the most caring female, after my mom in this world. She was a crazy girl. Though our relationship was a smooth one, we had loads of fight starting from getting late to meet her to forgetting her birthdays. As time went, we started getting closer. From 1 hour of conversation to 12 hours of telephonic conversation. I sometimes felt, I was not getting enough of space and hence sometime deliberately ignored her. Overcome of which was a big fight and series of things that I had to do to get my relation back on track. Her possessiveness grew with time. She started having problem with my family, my friends and cricket. Yes, she was the one to encourage me to play cricket and now she had problems with me playing it.

Loving, fighting, playing my graduation got over. My family wanted me to prepare for CAT, I did not disagree either. High paying jobs sound good to everyone. I joined a coaching for the same, which meant I could not have much time for Shilpa. As a result of which, fighting, not talking, abusing became a regular practice between us. I sometimes felt tired and cursed the day when I met her. Though I loved her truely and was sure, she will always be mine, I craved for my space and freedom. I hated to be ruled or instructed by some one, which she loved doing. Our conversations went to one hour from 12 hours and sometimes there were days we did not even speak.

I never realized this change, until one day,- Shilpa- Hi, you know we are meeting after almost a month. Remember we used to meet everyday. Me- Shilpa, lets talk about good things. You are looking really pretty. How good I am feeling to see you after such a long time.

Shilpa- Thanks, i….i want to confess something.

Me- what? I know you are sorry about your behavior and that’s alright, even I was at fault to have ignored you.

Shilpa- No Sid, I am not sorry and , and, and…..i am dating some one else, some one who loves me like hell. He cares for me and does everything I have ever wished for.

Me- I know you are kidding. Come on give me a kiss….(getting close to her)

Shilpa- Sid, its over

Saying this she left that place, and after that apart from orkut or facebook stalking, I never saw her again. I still wonder what made her leave me. I could not bear this fact that she had left me after a relationship of three years. Hell broke on me. I so damn missed her. I tried making a few phone calls, which she never picked, until one day I got to hear, “This number doesn’t exist”.

I, till date regret losing her and I am still craving to see her once, to ask her what went wrong, to apologize.

True Love- Part 1

There is this never ending combat between guys and girls, regarding loyalty and commitment in a relationship. Girls articulate guys are dogs, guys declare girls are bitches, but aren’t bitches meant for dogs? I am not here to take any one’s side, but to put frontward my story. People say, first love is the true love. Is it? Then why only 20% of people get married to their first love? Some also say that true love happens once. I say every love is a true love. I mean, can some one please tell me, what’s a false love?

My first true love and the worst ever break up-

My story commences a decade back. I some how managed to clear 12th standard, getting 45% marks, and still my family unit celebrated, for they never projected me to clear it in first attempt. No, I wasn’t either a dumbfuck. I scored less, because I played cricket.

Cricket, was my love, my life, my religion and Sachin Tendulkar, my god. My folks never showed any restriction towards my choice. I was truly, deeply, madly, crazily in love with cricket. For me, my routine was to get up early, take my bat and run into the fields, where I was the only king. Scorching sun, starvation, girls, nothing came between me and my love. Not blowing my own trumpet, but I played really well. I don’t remember myself scoring anything less then 25. Yes, I was loyal to my love. But like every love story has a villain, this, simplest of love story of mine had a villain too- future & career combo.

My father knew, it was not a cake walk, in this country of corruption, to become a cricketer. He, like any other father wanted me to become self-sufficient and established in life, of course by taking some government job or a respectable job, and not cricket.

I still remember my last day with my first love-

After 12th standards, before college could start, we had long vacations, like every body does. My only to- do for entire vacations was to play cricket from morning 5 to 9 at night. My dad could witness me getting deep into the same. It was my last day of the vacations-

Dad: Where were you from last 2 months?

Me: Dad, nowhere, I was here, at home itself. (Eyes down)

Dad: Really, but I don’t remember, when did I see you last time. What keeps you so busy?

Me: ( Without any shame) Cricket. I have to become a cricketer. Everybody is sure I will break Sachin’s record someday . ( My eyes sparkled )

Dad: Do you know Sunil, the one who resides beside kali temple. He and people around him believed same and today he is just a clerk. In name of milk, his wife feeds his kids with flour mixed water and jaggery.

Me: But..he did not (I could not complete my sentence as I saw dad taking bat into his hand and breaking it)

Dad: So, I hope you understand, it means you are not going to play cricket anymore and concentrate on studies. If not, u can walk over my dead body before doing the same.

Emotional blackmail is an integral part of every Indian family, I am sure. My heart broke into pieces. My love story ended. People cry for guys, people cry for girls. I cried for not being able to make cricket my destiny. That was the worst heart break I ever had.